my diary is almost finished.

Hello, there. I haven't been to school for three days, and I have a counting prediction that it's going to be four in a row. I have been sick. Yes, thanks, for asking, it is deathly and it is mucho fatal. Run now. I am the Killer Tomato and the victim is, once again, George Clooney.

the title explains that my diary is almost finished and I do want to savor what I have left with the poor thing, the cover designed like Phoenix's new album cover, I can't even spell the album's name. Nonetheless. I wanted to email Jim about my insomnia, he usually beefs up my ongoing rants. poor guy. i am studying geo and hope to pull my first frickin all-nighter. I'll be ready for college in no time.

So I've been googling my 'acquaintances' as we say. The girls at the back of the class, ignoring the teacher and talking about boyfriends, i call them acquaintances, at best. It seeps through me of how much I have been missing.

Yet another reason to be depressed. Yes, I have been sinking lately. I am writing this because no one reads this anyway. And the people who do already know. Hopefully my mom doesn't read this. We might be the Gilmore Girls at times, but I do not need a counselor (on contrary to Jim's thoughts). Reasons to be depresssed.

1) My writing
How's that going for you? In everything you do, you'll receive critique. All you can do is eat it up and bite it back up. Some bitch might say one day she thinks my stories are pure bull, all I can say to her is that maybe I like it that way. I love bull, and I love its shit more, just because what comes out is mine. I shrug people off. I grow a tough skin. I listen to F**K You a lot because it matches what i'd like to say to the people who I'm bull.

2) My 'acquaintances'
How's that going for you? In the wild, numerous species are left to co-exist with each other. It might end in slaughter for the weaker party and the smug dancing of the stronger. But it's important to remember we held on for this long, that we co-existed happily.

3) The acquaintances I wish were friends.
How's that going for you? There's still time. Contrary to my midnight rambling, I am still young, and I can still be loved.

4) What people think of me
How's that going for you? Probably the biggest set back and the one that cause all three above. I cannot pretend to not care because, really, I do. I do care and midnight only solves so many problems.

Reasons to be Happy

1) The friends I DO have.
I am still young and I AM loved.

2) What I do when I presevere
I can be great someday. And the friends I do have can help me along the way. Who knews, maybe life does care about plans and years from now, I'll be a writer with a side long job as a geneticist with a son named Adam and a daughter named Julian and my next door neighbor will be my best friend with her son James and her French-born husband.

3) I am my own person.
I cannot be stereotyped, and I do not want to be. If I have two faces, that'll only mean I have more to look at. There's a new way to be human, you know.

Midnight talks
-Aly